I think i’m inlove with Ashley Benson, Lucy Hale, Zooey Deschanel, Jennifer Lawrence, Emma Stone, Emma Watson, Selena Gomez, Taylor Swift, and ummm…. I forgot their names omg is this even normal lol i think i’m turning bi-ish HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
5:46AM
So what’s new? Last day ko na ‘to ng pagpupuyat kasi may pasok nanaman ako. Magpapaka-busy-kahit-hindi-naman-talaga ako. Medyo gumawa ako ng konting queues na walang katuturan kasi these past few days parang lutang ako dahil na rin siguro sa umaga na ko natutulog. Buti nga hindi ako nagiging anemic. Pero sana, kahit maging anorexic, pwede din diba. I feel giddy, hungry, lonely at the same time. Magulo utak ko. Feeling ko hindi ako yung ngayong ako. Parang ang daming nagbago. Parang ang sarap lisanin ng mundo.
Good night for me, good morning babies. Stay safe. :-)
06:00AM
Ala-sais na pala at ako’y gising na gising pa din. Ngayon pa lang matutulog, siguro last day na din ‘to ng puyat ko. Yata. Hehe. Baka hindi nanaman kasi ako makatulog ng maaga mamaya/kinabukasan kasi panigurado, puro horror pa din nasa isip ko. Lol. Ayun, hindi ko pa din tapos ayunsin yung mga tags ko. Nakakapagod. Ang sakit sa ulo. Nakakatamad. Hindi ko alam kung naging productive ako sa pagtunganga kay Adam Levine dahil sa utos ng nanay ko. Tulog ko na ‘to. Night. Tumblr out.
Good morning, ingat. Carpe diem.
02:45AM
Magpupuyat nanaman ako. Nag-ayos lang ako ng tags the whole day at nag-stalk ng nag-stalk kay Adam Levine. Nanay ko kasi e. Anong oras nanaman ako makakatulog neto. Baka manuod nanaman ako ng kung anu-ano at hindi ko matutuloy yung The Walking Dead kasi ako nalang mag-isang gising. Haha. Pano nanaman ako neto. Aalis pa bukas/mamaya. Maaga. Baka hindi nanaman ako makasama. Ugh, i know. This is all my fault. lol :-(
05:31AM
Tulog ko na ‘to. Naubos oras ko kaka-ayos lang ng mga tags at kaka-download ng kung anu-ano. Maaga pa ko mamaya, at sana magising ako. Sana sumipot sila, miss ko na sila. Good morning and good night. Ingat sa pagpasok. Labyu.
05:02AM
Ayan, mukhang na-post ko na lahat ng nasa drafts ko. Kaso hindi pa rin tapos yung pag-aayos ko ng mga tags. Nakakabwisit. Mamaya nalang ulit. Sana magising ako ng maaga. Good night or not? Mmmmm..
Nostalgia attacks.
Habang nag-aayos ako ng mga tags ko, nababasa ko yung mga dati kong mga posts. Grabe, para kong nababaliw dito. Natatawa, na kinikilig, tapos naiiyak. Pinaka-ayoko talaga ‘tong feeling na ‘to e. Hahahahahaha:—(
Minsan, naiisip ko na napaka-walang kwentang tao ko. Minsan kasi hindi ko din mapatunayan sa sarili ko kung anong mga kakayanan ko at kung ano pa ang silbi ko sa mundo. Parang hindi ko na alam yung dahilan kung bakit ako nag-eexists. Malay ko din ba kung bakit ako nag-iisip ng kung anu-ano. Siguro, madami pa kong hindi napapatunayan. Baka naman wala pa kasing nagsasabi kung ano talaga ang dahilan kung bakit ako nabubuhay. Minsan, nagiging sobrang pessimist ko. Kaya masyadong kong dina-down yung sarili ko lalo na sa mga times na mahina ako, lalo ko pang ida-down yung sarili ko.
Hi. Oh hi, so you’re reading this? Stop. I said stop. Okay you seemed to stopped already. Why? I’m just kidding. Just keep on reading, you sweet little thing. This is just a non-sensible post. No, I mean continue reading. You see.. How could I express this? Maybe I should say a word that could explain what I am right now. Vulnerable? Yes, yes it is. I am vulnerable. I’m too weak to show how strong I really was before. I just accept all the negativities and possibilities of life. Time after time, I’m growing even more weaker. Maybe out of all the things I’ve been through, it made me seem so defenseless. Nobody, or okay. I don’t if know anybody even cared. I guess nobody then. Even myself couldn’t understand what I really feel. It seems to be indescribable. I couldn’t express what I really feel deep inside me. Well, it’s because that I kept it way too long because nobody didn’t even tried to listen. Or just be there and understand the pain I have inside. I tire myself too much for thinking too much. You, you’re so lucky to have someone who listens to whatever blahs you say. They might as well help you in whatever shituation you have. But me? As you can see, I have none. I’d just simply pray the pain away. Maybe somehow, it lessens the pain. But the pain surely stays. Like forever. I’m surely is too lonely to the bone. I don’t even know how could I endure different kinds of pain. I was lucky enough to have music in my life. It saved me. It expresses what I truly feel and it kept me alive for the past 17 years of my existence. God is also the reason why I keep on living up to what I am now. The only thing I’m afraid of? Is not going to heaven and be with Him. So whenever I reach to the point that “Life isn’t for me, I guess I should kill myself and end this misery.” I would be thinking that when I commit suicide, I wouldn’t be able to enter His sanctuary and would just be thrown to hell. And that scares me off. Maybe these things, all of this. It has all its worth. Even the hurtful experiences. I know, it has its own purpose.
